Time for Some Advice!

I have been banned from talking to someone, because apparently every time I gave this girl good advice, she would end up crying the entire afternoon. I guess she doesn’t like getting advice from me? But it’s not my fault, she’s the one who approaches me. Oh well.

I know she views my blog daily, though, so I’m going to write down the tidbits of advice I was supposed to tell her today. Because you see, I’m nice and all that. I’m not particularly interested in helping, but it would be interesting to see what happens if she follows my advice.

She always complains about being bullied. *sighs*

Here’s my piece of advice, time and time again:


I believe bullying is a necessary evil. Or all right, maybe I’m just justifying myself because apparently, my classmates thought I was a bully when I was younger. I don’t think I was a bully though, I think I was just confident and I went for what I wanted, and some people were too sensitive to handle that. 😉

I’m still not sure until now, since 1/2 of the population thinks I’m adorable and the other half thinks I’m the devil incarnate. But when someone calls me ‘psychopathic,’ I take it as a compliment. 😛

Look, everyone gets teased. Everyone gets made fun of at some point. Some people just don’t know how to handle that, and if you show that it bothers you, you WILL get teased again.

I was a tiny kid. Even today, I’m only five feet flat 😛 so yeah. Kid-sized forever. When I was 5 years old and in first grade, I only had male classmates. ( Private schools are weird. ) A couple of the biggest kids in my class tried to bully me, so I punched them in the teeth. They tried to bully me again the next day, so I invited them over to my house and then locked them in the backyard with my dog. (My dog was in a fenced-off area but they didn’t know that hahaha.) At the end of the week, we were best friends.

Moral lesson? Show them you’re NOT going to be bullied. Be assertive. It almost always works. I think at school, instead of stopping the bullies, administrators should just teach kids how to stand up for themselves. Get a mandatory karate class for the wimpy children, etc.

Bullying is a method of control. Everyone gets bullied, and it will never stop, Guess what? You’re going to get bullied at work. By your superiors, by your relatives sometimes, and by your own government. It’s a way of keeping people in line. And now, it’s up to you whether you’re going to let it define you or let it help you change for the better.

Here’s where I teach you how to get rid of bullies. 😀

Step One – observe. What kind of bullying is going on? Is it verbal? Physical? etc. How many people are bullying you and why are they doing it? What are they targeting?

Step Two – get backup. You can’t do this alone. Tell someone what’s happening (NOT BY WHINING). Just inform someone that you’re being bullied.

Step Three – cultivate an IDGAF attitude. Don’t care so damn much. Bullies are likely to give up when they don’t see you getting flustered or scared. They’re looking for a reaction, so if you don’t give it to them, they’ll get bored and switch targets.

Step Four – turn the tables. This is when you’re going to reverse roles. Use the info you gathered during Step One and use it to keep your bully on a short leash. Dig up dirt on them, then use it to poke them where it hurts. This is the fun part, because you’ll get to amuse yourself while fighting back.

Step Five – negotiate. This for that. Offer a compromise – you’ll stop the blackmail if the bully stops the abuse, etc.

Step Six – keep your friends close, and your enemies closer. If a compromise is reached, don’t actually throw away your blackmail material. Reference it from time to time, hint at it, just make them aware that you still have the upper hand.

Step Seven – avert future bullying incidences. Change what makes your a target for bullying AND love yourself! If you aren’t so ashamed and apologetic of who you are, you won’t be seen as a target as much as before.

And that’s it!

Now that you’re past the bullying stage, you might feel some resentment for what happened. However, don’t blame your past for turning you into the person you are today. Are you really going to let those experiences hold you back? Nope. You should just get over it and make it a stepping stone towards a better future. (Yup. I pulled that line out of a boarding school brochure.)

But, fine. I’ll lay off for now. *pets your head* Good luck with the bullies!

I hope I don’t get violent reactions for this post from people who were bullied. But if there are any: I don’t care, remember?


4 thoughts on “Time for Some Advice!

  1. If she doesn’t listen to your advice, it’s not your problem. You laid down your cards on the table, and now the choice is up to her. If she follows your advice, good; if not, no problem either. It’s not your loss.

    Liked by 1 person

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