How to Get By When You Have Zero Empathy

Hello! My name is Jen, and I have antisocial personality disorder (psychopathy spectrum). No, I am not a serial killer, and no, I am not antisocial at all. I’m actually quite extroverted and awesome *fistpump* and I was a little surprised when I was given this diagnosis.

According to my psychiatrist, this means that I have a complete lack of empathy and sympathy, which can develop into questionable morals and behavior. Don’t worry, though – empathy is not really needed for morality so I’m not going to do bad things unless it will benefit me. Oh, wait, that’s wrong.

Never mind.

Anyway, people like me can have quite a difficult time because – surprise, surprise – we often don’t react appropriately to things! Unless you’ve trained yourself to observe other people’s interactions intently, your reactions to other peoples’ pain or suffering can range from mild amusement to a blank-faced why the fuck are you telling me this?

But don’t worry. I’m here to help!

This post is for other individuals who have trouble jump-starting their empathy facade. Don’t worry, as long as you keep observing, you’ll put two and two together and come up with suitable reactions. Most of us are usually gifted at maintaining a mask anyway.

See. That’s empathy. It’s the ability to see another’s point of view and feel what they’re feeling. When you think about it, it’s a useful trait. But it’s not really necessary and can be potentially exhausting and frustrating (I don’t know, I don’t have it).

So yeah. I’m going to give you a little tutorial on how to pretend to be emphatic! Ready? Let’s start!

Mirror Their Emotions

You don’t know how to react to a situation even after analyzing it? Watch the people around you. If they’re sad, act sad, etc.

Say “I’m Sorry”

I’m sorry you’re so sensitive. I’m sorry you made me do that. I’m sorry if you think I did something wrong. I’m sorry if you don’t understand me. LOL. Seriously though, apologize if you appear to have offended someone. Downcast eyes are optional.

Try To Keep Your Contempt In Check

Humans are naturally narcissistic. But most human beings are sensitive and emphatic enough to not let this show. So even though you think you’re the awesomest person to ever grace the planet Earth, do try to keep your contempt for other lesser beings toned down.

Don’t Be a Use, Abuse, and then Lose Kind of Person

I think this one is self-explanatory. Emphatic people will not use, abuse and then lose a person when they have lost their potential for usefulness.

If nothing else works, give them a dazzling smile and turn up the charm all the way to 11.

By the way, this post is meant to be funny but I’m no doubt going to get bashed by people with so many ~feelings.~ 

Seriously. Lighten up.

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